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Grant Me This

Apparently, Tiger Woods is human after all

- PGA.com

Tiger Woods often seems super-human, both in ability and his accomplishments. But our Grant Boone says his struggles at Bay Hill during the Arnold Palmer Invitational show that he is still a man who can falter at times -- just not that much.

By Grant Boone, Special to PGA.com

First off, a big thanks to the fine baristas at one of the roughly 412 Starbucks at DFW Airport for their willingness to -- as their chalkboard read -- "indugle" my senses with a Caramel Macchiato. If you haven't had your senses indugled recently, you really haven't lived.

Now, if you'll "indugle" me, here's what's going on in my world.

I'm anxious to see the hit movie, "300," which I understand was based on Tiger Woods' final round Sunday at Bay Hill. Tiger's last two holes can best be described by looking at the back of your shampoo bottle:

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

(The definitive routine on idiotic instructions comes from my favorite comedian Brian Regan, whose "I Walked On The Moon" DVD is worth it if only for his riff about the toasting directions on the back of a Pop-Tarts box. See it here. I don't know how it's possible that the directions are longer than one step. You'd think it'd be, 'Step 1: Toast the Pop-Tarts...go ahead, toast 'em....it's okay....hey, are you still readin' this?')

The weekend at the Arnold Palmer Invitational was a comedy of errors for most of the field, including the world's No. 1. In his Sunday 76, Woods' back nine 43 was the highest nine-hole score of his 10-year Tour career. It was punctuated by a progressive, if not ignominious, bogey-double bogey-triple bogey finish, which dropped Woods into a tie for 22nd after he'd shared the first-round lead thanks to a 64.

If you've heard golf writers and broadcasters say it once, then you've heard it, well, at least that one time that Tiger Woods "never gives up" during a tournament round, no matter how poorly he's playing. But today, I'm voluntarily blacklisting myself from ever stepping so much as a pinky toe inside Woods' inner circle with the following declaration:

It's not true.

Tiger has -- on occasion -- said "no mas." There haven't been very many occasions, fewer occasions probably than anyone in the history of the game. But it's happened. I witnessed one such rarity from less than 50 feet away.

In the second round of last year's Players Championship, Woods birdied four of his first seven holes to creep up the leaderboard but had his momentum blunted by bogeys at 17 and 18. He was 3 under for the day and the tournament as he finished his second round on the par-5 ninth. I wriggled my way through the throng and was standing along the ropes when Woods hit his third shot over the green, then chunked his fourth. His good friend, Darren Clarke, began walking to the opposite side of the green to get a look at his own upcoming birdie putt and had to stop in mid-stride because Woods followed that flubbed fourth by immediately stepping up to his ball and hitting his fifth with the look of a man whose round couldn't end quickly enough.

Typical Tiger, he holed it for the ugliest par you've ever seen, assuming, of course, that you didn't blink between the fourth and fifth shots. There are a lot of words to describe what happened at that hole. "Grinding" isn't one of them.

Judging from his physiognomy -- let's see the baristas spell that one -- the last couple of holes Sunday at Bay Hill may've been the most recent of those rare occasions when Tiger has thrown in the towel, which was unfortunate because he could've used it to dry off his balls.

If I'm right, it only makes Tiger like approximately 117 percent of everyone else who's ever competed at the highest level, which may come as a shock to many of us who've been regularly flabbergasted by this phenom for the last dozen years. And it must be pointed out that there were significant mitigating factors in both instances referenced above, one physiological and one meteorological.

The weather at Bay Hill over the weekend made it nearly impossible to post a good number. Of the 157 rounds played on Saturday and Sunday, only 13 were under par and just four in Sunday's final round. And those closing holes are difficult even in favorable conditions. So it was tough for everyone out there. But the look on Woods' face after his tee shot at 17 splashed was not that of someone who was prepared to keep fighting.

Of even greater significance was the crucible of grief in which Woods found himself during last year's Players. You might remember he flew cross-country from Ponte Vedra, Florida to southern California two days before the tournament began to be with his ailing father, who would succumb to cancer six weeks later. He wasn't even sure he'd return to tee it up for the first round that Thursday.

That Woods could sharpen his focus enough to post 72-69 in windy weather on such an exacting course -- Davis Love, you might also recall, missed the cut after shooting 65-83 to fall from a share of the first round lead to a share of his living room couch -- is further proof of Woods' greatness.

Which, I suppose, is my ultimate point here. Tiger Woods has done and continues to do things on a golf course that the game has never seen. He's already at least one of the five best golfers of all time, is two-thirds of the way toward Nicklaus' 18 majors at the age of 31, and is on pace to become the greatest player in the history of the game.

If he takes a shot or two off every year or so, it should only remind us that this is indeed a mere mortal accomplishing these otherwise superhuman feats. I'm only suggesting that Woods' body of work is legitimately mind-boggling enough without the golf media resorting to the silly hyperbole that he's never waved the white flag.

He has. And he's human. Like the "indugling" baristas. And certainly like yours truly. For some of us, that may be the only thing we have in common with one of the most transcendent figures of our time.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's a blacklist with my name on it.

Grant Boone is a husband, father, golf broadcaster, and sports journalist based in Abilene, Texas. His column appears on PGA.com each Wednesday and every day during major championships and other big events. He can be contacted at pgagrant@hotmail.com.

The views and opinions expressed here do not reflect those of PGA.com or The PGA of America.

 
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